In the modern game, money is everything. Clubs will stick their badges on anything they think punters will buy. In all honesty, most merchandise is a little crap, but occasionally we see the bottom of the barrel being scrapped just a little too hard, revealing products you wouldn’t buy your worst enemy.
Here are 20 pieces of total tat currently sold by Premier League football teams. Get your credit cards out people!
20. Wolverhampton Wanderers Mirror
For a mere £20 – no that’s not a joke – you can be the proud owner of this wonder of modern design. Soon to be featured in the London Design Museum and inspired by the great works of Paul Cézanne, this art nouveau piece would make any household the proud owner.
19. Norwich Recorder
Described on the club site as ‘perfect for musicians’, this pink recorder is a great addition to any musicians collection. It can sit right next to your Bösendorfer piano with all the pride it deserves. Now for a bargain price of only 50p! They’ve been reduced from £1.50 so get them whilst they’re hot!
18. Man City Christmas Crackers
What you might wish from a Christmas cracker emblazoned with the Manchester United logo is a rolled up £100 note or a golden pocket watch, considering the vast wealth of the owners. What you’ll most likely get is some plastic tat and a key ring, but you can hope!
17. Burnley Ladies Oddballs Underwear
Bow chicka wow wow! If your missus – or adventurous mister – is a Burnley fan, surely this is at the top of your list. Whilst looking disturbingly like the pair of pants you’d wear as a kid which came with a full pyjama set, these are actually made for grown women. I don’t quite see the appeal myself, I mean it’s not exactly Katy Perry in West Ham lingerie, but each to their own!
16. Bournemouth Articulated Lorry Model
As we all know, young boys hate toy trucks… But if you should find yourself in a position where your kid is uninterested in the heroic day-to-day workings of an articulated lorry driver, this totally awesome and very cheaply made plastic truck is a home run!