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The A-Z of Atrocious Kits

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Athletic Bilbao 2004

Athletic Bilbao 2004

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This bacon / ketchup kit designed by Basque artist Dario Urzay was launched to celebrate the club’s centenary. Luckily for the players, they won wore the kit in a short UEFA Cup campaign in 2004. The kit was, apparently, designed to resemble a blood splatter rather than bacon or ketchup or jam, but the real questions is: why?

Bedale AFC

Bedale FC 2019

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If you haven’t heard of Bedale AFC, get to know. Sponsored by local – and now semi-famous if you’re a sausage fan or watched Alex Polizzi’s ‘The Fixer’ show – company, Bedale players had the unfortunate requirement to be seen in public in two sausage-themed kits with ‘HECK’ written larger than the Hollywood sign in Los Angeles on the chest.

Colorado Caribous

Colorado Caribous 1978

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Take a moment to compose yourself…. Alright. This is Colorado Caribous: a team who formed and dissolved in a single year in 1978 (surely some kind of record) who wore a kit now famous as one of the most disgusting and ugly examples in the game’s history. Wherever these two chaps are now, who posed in a recreation of the kit, we hope they’re receiving adequate and skilled therapy.

Dundee

Dundee 1953

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Uts a wee but shut! Dundee chose this tartan monstrosity of a kit back in 1953 during their tour of South Africa for their 60th anniversary. The whisky might be World-class but this kit is DUSCUSTAN!

England

England Goalkeeper Shirt 1995/96

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David Seaman was unlucky enough to be forced to wear this hectic goalkeeper shirt during Euro ’96, often nicknamed the ‘refresher outfit’ after the colourful sweet made by Swizzels. Despite what you might think, the shirt had no nauseating effect on the opposition and England, as per usual, lost to Germany in the knockout stages of the competition.

Fiorentina

Fiorentina 1992/93

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Fiorentina have had some of the coolest and most embarrassing kits of all time. Where you think this 1992/93 kit fits on that scale is up to you! It was discovered in December of 1992 that an ‘optical illusion’ created what some claimed to be a ‘swastika effect’ on the chest and arms, which many reported! Can you see it? Either way, the kit was not a fan favourite but oddly – and perhaps worryingly – became somewhat of a collector’s item.

Germany

Germany Goalkeeper Shirt 1990-1991

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The Germans are known for their precision and order, so the release of this goalkeeper’s kit must either have been rushed or given to a ‘high’ly enthusiastic neighbouring Dutchman to complete?!

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